Do you have a hard time making choices when faced with too many options? Because, same. That’s called the paradox of choice, and more often than not, it hinders us. I struggled to find my purpose for the longest time because I was interested in too many things. During my undergrad, I remember thinking I wanted to study medicine, but also meteorology (I’m fascinated by tornadoes), but also photography and film, but also music, but also history, and theology…my choice anxiety was through the roof. Anyone else here an Enneagram Type 7?
If you’re struggling to find your purpose, you’re not alone. Here are three actionable steps you can take to get started.
1. Date yourself
In one of my previous posts, I mentioned the concept of dating oneself. I’m happy to say I’m in a very committed relationship with Sarahi. To this day, I’m learning so much about who she is: what she loves, what she’s good at, her weaknesses and her strengths – it’s an ongoing evolution, and I’m embracing every moment.
The first step towards finding your purpose is getting cozy with the most important person in your life – YOU. Start by asking yourself deep questions, much like you would on a first date – except the questions aren’t superficial, and you aren’t going to ghost yourself.
Questions to ponder:
- What type of books do you like to read?
- How do you spend your free time?
- What do you frequently spend money on? Besides skincare, I am a sucker for puzzles and “Hunt A Killer” sets — this is on par with my love of creativity, reading, and writing.
- What are your hobbies?
- How do you practice self-care?
- What is your love language?
Take it a step further and observe. We often evaluate ourselves based on our intentions rather than our concrete actions. What patterns do you see in yourself? What are your daily habits? This is where your desires often reveal themselves. Perhaps you intend to read more about psychology, but you find yourself lost in documentaries about the history of fashion. Alternatively, you might vocalize your enthusiasm for a career in finance, but your daydreams consistently revolve around becoming a music composer. These are breadcrumbs that may be telling you where your genuine interests are.
2. What do you love to learn, and what can you teach?
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver’s words echo the idea of seeking out what makes us feel alive. Shoutout to my friend Ryan (@rynicolereads) for introducing me to her work.
The second step is to look inward for answers. What gives you energy even on hard days? What topics can you discuss to no end, causing the people around you to question if you’re completely obsessed? What are you naturally good at that you can become amazing at?
For example, for me, it’s writing. I’ve always had a natural ability to write. I enjoy writing for fun, for work, and for others. I’ve made it a habit to dedicate time to writing every single day to improve and sharpen my skillset. My journey with writing is still unfolding. ◡̈
Once you find what sets your soul on fire, ask yourself: How can I teach and serve others? I believe that a key ingredient in human happiness lies in the act of service to others through passing down knowledge. Original thoughts are rare, but unique perspectives are gold.
3. Leave your comfort zone
The third step is to leave your comfort zone. As someone who battles anxiety, trying new things can feel like I’m about to jump off a cliff – especially when I’m not sure I’ll ace the landing. But I’ve trained myself to crave trying new things. Our brain loves a good challenge because it values effort.
There’s no shame in using this space for recharging and reflection.
One trick is to use your strengths as a tool when stepping outside your comfort zone. For example, if you’re often told you’re a great storyteller, use your skills to engage in public speaking. If you’re known to be a great event planner, try party planning for a group of friends. Once you get more experience, go bigger.
Stepping outside your comfort zone doesn’t mean disregarding what you’re good at. It’s about using your strengths to navigate unknown territory. Someone once said, “If it doesn’t scare you, you’re not dreaming big enough.” Growth thrives in discomfort.
Honoring those who came before us
I want to take a moment to appreciate the trail our parents, grandparents, and ancestors paved. Their dreams often took a back seat to the responsibility of providing for their families, and while that’s admirably selfless, it’s also a testament to their sacrifices. I don’t think we acknowledge this enough. I was a first-generation college student and witnessed these sacrifices firsthand.
Many of us are part of a generation that benefits from the hard-fought battles of those who came before us. We’re empowered to explore, to learn, and to forge our own paths. This privilege comes with a responsibility. We have the responsibility to use our skills and talents for good and to honor the legacy of those who made them possible.
It’s never too late to discover or change your passion(s). I hope this helps you nudge you in the right direction! ◡̈
Serotonin + Co. 
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